Author Topic: Funny Stories  (Read 1003 times)

Offline TrekMD

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Funny Stories
« on: April 11, 2015, 14:50:48 PM »
We have funny pictures and funny videos, so I'm adding Funny Stories.  Let's get started with these stories of some really stupid people...

ONE
Recently, I when to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
 
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the
counter.
 
 'You don't?' I replied.
 
 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
 
 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
 
 'That's right.'
 
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
 
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
 
 (Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said
they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
 
 (And they think they are worth $15.00 per hour!)
 
 
 TWO
 I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

 Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

 I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

 She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
 
 She had no clue to what had just happened.
 
 (But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
 

 THREE
 A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.

 When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.

 (Keep shuddering!!)

 
 FOUR
 
 I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
 
 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
 
 She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit
this?'

 Hmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
 
 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,handing it and the car keys to me.

 As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.'

 PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
 
 
 FIVE
 Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the
photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

 Brunette, by the way!!
 
 
 SIX
 A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
 
 The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

 Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'
 
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
 

Going to the final frontier, gaming...

Online zapiy

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Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2015, 17:13:31 PM »
lol

Years ago i went to a local pub.. i was a little hungry and i knew they sold Beef & Mustard Branagans crisps..

Anyway there was a fit blonde serving and i was cool and calm, ordered the pint and then asked for the crisps " can i have a packet of Meef and Bustard crisps please" now i knew she knew i said it wrong and i slowly faded under the bar lol..
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Offline TrekMD

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Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2015, 18:21:01 PM »
LOL Meef and Bustard, eh?

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Offline TrekMD

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Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2016, 20:15:27 PM »
[align=center:3pxixoly][/align:3pxixoly]

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Offline TrekMD

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Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2016, 18:22:48 PM »
Differences Between The Sexes Observed At The Drive-Up ATM Machine.
       
      HIM:
       
      1) Pull up to ATM
      2) Insert card
      3) Enter PIN number and account
      4) Take cash, card and receipt
       
      HER:
       
      1) Pull up to ATM
      2) Check makeup in rearview mirror
      3) Shut off engine
      4) Put keys in purse
      5) Get out of car b/c you're too far from machine
      6) Hunt for card in purse
      7) Insert card
      8 ) Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
      9) Enter PIN number
      10) Study instructions for at least 2 minutes
      11) Hit "cancel"
      12) Re-enter correct PIN number
      12A) Hit "cancel"
      12B) Call husband to get correct PIN number
      13) Check balance
      14) Look for envelope
      15) Look in purse for pen
      16) Make out deposit slip
      17) Endorse checks
      18) Make deposit
      19) Study instructions
      20) Make cash withdrawal
      21) Get in car
      22) Check makeup
      23) Look for keys
      24) Start car
      25) Check makeup
      26) Start pulling away
      27) STOP
      28) Back up to machine
      29) Get out of car
      30) Take card and receipt
      31) Get back in car
      32) Put card in wallet
      33) Put receipt in checkbook
      34) Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
      35) Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook
      36) Check makeup
      37) Put car in gear, reverse
      38) Put car in drive
      39) Drive away from machine
      40) Travel 3 miles
      41) Release parking brake

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Offline TrekMD

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Re: Funny Stories
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2016, 03:38:24 AM »
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